Sat,6th Dec 2008-Doc said it's impossible to bersalin normal becoz tulang pelvic me kecik n baby nye kepala besar n tak turun lagi...Guna portable machine nak tgk XRay, cool gile..


In a way, I am grateful to Allah coz :-


1) I dont have to go through the painful labour which I think I am not ready yet to experience.(singing..i am 28 acting/feeling like 18,heheh)....especially being overseas with no support system and being occupied with studies.Research ni tak tau nak buat apa....risau betullah..My pain threshold is very very low..Saya kenal diri saya sendiri..Saya tidak sekuat orang lain...If I do bersalin normal, and if it turns out to be unbearable, i might blame others for the pain, might not want to have kids anymore, etc....I thank Allah for all the reasons that is unbeknown to me..ada hikmah di sebaliknya..maybe 2nd pregnancy, i'll be ready..


2) Takut hasui (air ketuban) pecah kat sekolah...insya-Allah tak lah kot now that I know i will be dibedah in a week's time (10 days earlier than due date)...tapi macam tak best pulak kan sebab tak natural. Tak de air ketuban pecah, panik2 feeling, contraction (yang i dulu doa biarlah 30 mins-2 or 3 jam je,ahaks, tak mo 12 hours)...tak pelah,next time..


3) Syukur coz I dont have to go through what my fren, NP n my SIL had to go through in Msia. Tak sure boleh keluar normally, doc diorang suruh jugak cuba push...i can imagine the painfulness, dahlah sakit, penat push, pastu dah tak boleh baru nak caesar...kan ke 2 keje namanya..sini, like the one i experienced, doc buat X-Ray, kira guna ruler berapa jarak tulang ke tulang, boleh terus confirm natural ke caesar....Oklah, alhamdulillah...

I wish :

1) I could turn back time...be really prepared and happy when I got to know I was pregnant...ni tak...dok takut2 sensei marah sampai stress..padahal sensei mana ada marah pun.If I could turn back time, i'll make sure i wont nangis2 n stress2. Banyak kali mintak maaf kat baby, hoping she wont turn out emotional as I was when I was pregnant with her....and hopefully turn out to be a good, jolly, happy baby, tak active sangat and tak emo sangat...doa sangat macam baby zarif and chara and ayra etc..tenang n cool je !

2) I cud jaga makan...ni makan tah pahape...tapi rasanya kalau kat Msia, lagi teruk i bantai makan...naik berkilo2 lah agaknya..

2nd pregnancy (laamaaaaaa lagi,ok), I wish i cud :

have a maid (malas nak buat kerja rumah, *hub* hint hint)...heheh, dok Msia (makan senang), happy and tak stress2..insya-Allah..

I guess being pregnant and delivering my baby in Nihon ada hikmahnya to me...Insya-Allah, here's hoping to a wonderful year (2009) with the new addition in the family.Hope I can juggle my time between being a student, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a DIL and a good fren to u ! (ala2 Resolution 2009 lah pulak)...